The Blessing of Insomnia

~ Seleste Sault ~ Leave a comment

I am a chronic insomnia sufferer. I always have been. And maybe it’s how busy my days are, or how many children depend on me right now, but I’ve found that I’m more and more annoyed by my body’s refusal to get with the program. I have a job to do! Chores to get done! Hobbies I would like to have time and energy for! And most importantly, people in my life who I am responsible for, and who deserve better than for me to be grumpy with them all day. I don’t have time to be tired.

Since childhood, when I can’t sleep, I’ve turned to reading. And since 2015, when I can’t sleep, I turn to reading Psalms. Psalms always point me back to a place of peace. It is gently instructional as only poetry can be. There I can find acknowledgment of the heaviness of the world, along with reminders of God’s constant goodness and His justice.

So last night when I realized that sleep wasn’t happening, I did what I always do. I complained. I thought about all the things I had to do today asked God if He couldn’t maybe give me a break for once (just being real. We all get a little dramatic when we’re sleepy, amiright?). Then I grabbed my quiet time stuff and went to the living room.

I start Bible time with prayer. I’ve found that I absorb a lot more if I invite Holy Spirit to read with me. And I start prayer with thanksgiving, which is what my dad taught me to do when I was young.

“Thank you, Father,” I paused. “Please show me the things I can be thankful for.” Because I know that my Father is good, and He doesn’t mind giving reminders.

I thanked God for my family, my children, my home, and then God brought something I’ve never thanked Him for to mind. Insomnia.

Thank you, Father, for insomnia. For the blessing of being awake when no one else is. For these precious, quiet moments alone with You. For the right to come before You as Your child and say, “I can’t sleep. Can I sit with You awhile?” And have You hold me. Thank you for this stillness. For the opportunity to spend time with You uninterrupted by noises (joyful or otherwise), by the needs of my little disciples, by messes and meetings and deadlines. Thank you for the darkness that leads me to seek Your light. I find my peace and my rest in You. Sometimes in the busyness of day-to-day life, I forget how close You are. But here in the quiet when it’s just You and me, I remember. Thank you for this beautiful gift. Thank you for insomnia.

I’m not resigned to suffering. I look forward to one day praising God for healing and sleeping a glorious eight hours a night. But while I’m here, I will praise the Lord. There is never a season that He is not worthy.

Dear Biblical Woman, please Don’t serve like Martha.

~ Seleste Sault ~ Leave a comment

I was mindlessly scrolling through Instagram the other day (bad habit, I know), when I saw an ad for a shirt praising Biblical women and their notable attributes. It was cute. It said,

Sacrifice like Esther

Love like Ruth

Serve like Martha

Believe like Mary

Dance like Miriam

I got a little tripped up on “Serve like Martha.” I had to read it twice. Yep, it said what I thought it said. Then I had to check my own heart. Was I right to have a problem with this? After all, some company making Bible t-shirts would surely know better than me what makes for a Biblical woman, right? Serving is a good thing! Martha worked hard. That’s good, right? 

     No, I reminded myself. I know my Bible. And I know that story well. You can find it in Luke 10:38-41. I use the Complete Jewish Bible, which uses the Jewish names: Yeshua for Jesus, Marta for Martha, and Miryam for Mary. The story is the same no matter which version you read from 😉

    On their way, Yeshua and his talmidim came to a village where a woman named Marta welcomed them into her home. She had a sister called Miryam who also sat at the Lord’s feet and heard what he had to say. But Marta was busy with all the work to be done, so, going up to him, she said, “Sir, don’t you care that my sister has been leaving me to do all the work by myself?” However, the Lord answered her, “Marta, Marta, you are fretting and worrying about so many things! But there is only one thing that is essential. Miryam has chosen the right thing, and it won’t be taken away from her.”

    That’s pretty clear. Martha wanted Mary to “Serve like Martha,” but Jesus corrected her. “Only one thing is essential, and Mary has chosen the right thing,” Only one thing is essential, and it wasn’t what Martha was doing. 

    Serving like Martha means serving at the expense of your precious time with Jesus. It means prioritizing your position over His presence. It’s actually something I see a lot of in the church world. We know it is good to serve, and that Jesus wants us to be like Him and lead lives of service (Matt. 20:26-28). On top of that, it fits American culture pretty well to glorify those who work hard, even to the detriment of their own health. We’ve learned to recognize godly men and women by the amount of service they give. How many hours they commit to volunteer work. How many meals they bring to a struggling neighbor. 

    This is where it gets a little tricky. Serving is good. Godly men and women DO serve, and should. If you’re not involved in any ministries in your church, I have questions. Martha was not wrong to invite Jesus and his disciples into her home. She wasn’t wrong to want to serve. And there certainly was a lot of work to be done; hosting an extra 13+ people is a challenge! But her service was not what the moment called for.

    Jesus was there, in her home, teaching. She had access to His words and His heart, and she was too distracted by her to-do list to notice what she was missing out on. Only one thing was essential. It wasn’t the chores.

We face the same temptations today. Christ lives within us. His presence is accessible to us in all moments, and His words are right at our fingertips. Our distractions are real. Our to-do lists and responsibilities are real. Are we going to make them our priority and miss the one essential thing, or will we listen to Jesus and put His presence above it all?

Do serve. Please. But don’t Serve like Martha.

Where’s MLK?

~ Seleste Sault ~ Leave a comment

 

What has happened this last week with the murder of George Floyd by a police officer in our nation is yet another exacerbation of the race issue within our country. And if you consider yourself not racist, know that the race issue is addressed and dealt with by people like you. Your voice and action within your own community and sphere of influence is what moves us forward!

Let me start this off by saying I could be wrong on this, and am very open to discussion, and to learning. People abhor both the violence of police brutality and the riots that lead to looting and vandalizing.

Anger on both sides is right. My personal opinion, though, before I get to my point, is that the loss of insured products or possessions over irreplaceable human life is no contest. I know what side is most important in that regard. It doesn’t make the looting right. I do not condone their behaviors, but neither will I abandon their cause. As in most elections, you take the route of what you believe is a lesser evil. You vote for the party that you believe is pointing in the direction you want to go. And in this case, I know the direction I want to go.

I have an observation, a question, and a declaration that I believe are worth considering, even if you don’t see eye to eye with me. 

OBSERVATION: I have seen posts about wanting the “Black Lives Matter” group to stick to peaceful protest. I would say that if you look in the past 10 years peaceful protests from pro athletes to people marching have not yielded the justice they both desire and deserve.

      Yet people want protests to continue the way that MLK led them in the 60’s. And therein lies the dilemma. The civil rights movement was “led.” And not led by an idea, but by a person.

      We all know that racism is wrong. People before MLK knew that. But it was that Martin Luther King jr. stood up and led the movement. What Kaepernick and other people of platform did was great and needed, but it was momentary on their part. Leading involves speaking, but speaking is not always leading. What MLK did was lead consistently and constantly at the forefront of the movement. 

     What made him so successful in staying true to gaining justice without violence was that he knew and so embodied the person of Jesus as he led. Martin Luther King jr. was a pastor. He saw the injustices of America towards the black community and so from a faith conviction used his voice powerfully to call for greater freedoms, and to hold white oppressors more accountable. But he did not just lead with his voice, he was the head of the march. He was arrested multiple times, received death threats daily against himself and his family. Yet he would not back down. There was no political agenda that could sway him to abandon or even compromise on the civil rights issue.

QUESTION: Who are the leaders with platform and influence to be a consistent and constant voice for this cause? One who holds the values of Jesus like MLK, to not compromise position over public opinions, and to not respond eye for an eye, evil for evil, hate for hate. One who looks to bless those who curse, and to be taken advantage of time and time again without responding maliciously. Who is it? Maybe it’s you. Maybe it’s me. One thing is certain, which leads me to:

DECLARATION: Without these kinds of leaders rising up we will see more of the same, and possibly (most likely) at greater levels. People are getting tired, and when you get tired, you get cranky. And when you’re cranky, you tend to do things that you wouldn’t normally do. From having a long and hard day leading to snapping at a loved one, or having decades of unjustified murders by authorities leading to setting fire to buildings.

     Bottom line, If we want a Christlike solution and justice for “Black Lives Matter” then we need the Christlike people (black, indigenous, white, latino, hispanic, asian) at the forefront, not only in posts and memes, but in action. You don’t tell people to peacefully protest unless you’re going to get out there and peacefully protest! 

     In a similar way, telling my kids to “stop crying” rarely results in the end of tears. But when I get on their level, hold them, love them, then the desired result always comes. Sometimes instantly, other times after a moment of sitting with them in their pain. Please be with people in their pain. Like Christ, love people in their brokenness and show them how to walk towards their desired outcome. 

As a pastor at Mosaic Community Church in Englewood CO. I regularly and intentionally strive to position myself to come along those who have been marginalized by poverty, homelessness, addiction, mental illness and other issues. My desire is to live the gospel in all aspects of life within our community. I believe as we each do as Jesus did on a local level we will see change on a national one! I hope that you join me in this endeavor to meet the brokenness in our own communities.

Blessings to all!

-Jeremiah Sault

Why I have started covering my head (almost) all the time

~ Seleste Sault ~ Leave a comment
About 6 weeks ago in a private prayer time, Holy Spirit nudged me to cover my head.
I take being a servant of Christ Jesus seriously and have learned that He knows what He’s talking about, so I did it. Immediately, I felt my connection to God grow stronger.
I described it to Jeremy as being like a tea kettle with a lid on- quicker to boil and with redirected steam. That analogy may not make sense to some of you, but if you’ve felt it, I think you’ll know what I mean.
     I started wearing a hat every time I prayed and prophesied, and for worship at church where I often pray and prophesy. I found myself hearing the Lord better, and speaking and singing more confidently what He put on my heart.
     Now, I am a very intuitive, feelings-driven person, but I am also very logical. If you Myers-Briggs, I’m an INFJ. I was happy with the “results” of my head covering experiment, but I wanted to know WHY. While Google led me to many reasons women of other faiths and spiritualities cover their heads, some of the Christian sources were old dudes insisting on women accepting their inferiority and donning a head covering. That almost made me want to quit, because I am NOT about that! I believe that a real look at God’s creation of and interaction with women shows how incredibly valuable we are to Him. God is very pro-woman 🙂
     I’m not going to go into it too deeply here because I am a working mother of 4+ with limited free time, and other people explain it better anyway, but through a couple word studies and tons of Biblical research I found good answers. Many of you are probably familiar with Paul’s teaching in 1 Cor. 11, but that’s only part of it! Made short, it’s about my identity in Christ. It’s a spiritual sign of the authority I have as a daughter of the King, and how to use the power I have been given. It’s about committing myself to walk in His ways.Keep His commandments. He built me to pray and prophesy and I do so in His name. It is more than a symbol, just as baptism is more than a symbol.
Something supernatural is happening when I cover my head.
     “That’s all well and good for prayer and worship,” you might say, “but why do it all the time?” I have three pretty simple reasons for that. First is that I pray all the time. I didn’t realize how constantly I pray until I decided to cover my head, honestly. I kept catching myself praying and then stopping to grab a hat or scarf. I know I didn’t have to stop, but as I’ve said, it truly does make my prayers more effective.
     The second is that I am more sensitive to the promptings of Holy Spirit with my head covered. I just am. I notice more what He is doing in a situation and respond more quickly. My spiritual senses are more focused. I don’t know exactly why, although I do have theories (I may write more on that in the future). I feel closer to God with my head covered, and I want to be close to Him all the time.
     Third, and this goes hand in hand with why I switched from an inconspicuous beanie to a more obviously religious covering, it is a constant reminder that I am acting as a representative of the Kingdom of God. Whether your head is covered or not, if you are a follower of Christ, then you are an ambassador of His Kingdom. To your co-workers, to your family and friends, and if you are a parent, to your children. This has been helping me keep that in mind, making me think twice about my words, my tone, and my actions.
     You might notice I left out modesty. That’s because I don’t see this as a modesty thing. It may have been at one point in history, but now there are many wonderful and modest women who keep their hair down and uncovered.
     This is not a hard and fast rule. I may not keep to it 100% of the time, and I’m definitely not saying every woman should go cover their heads right now. I believe in seeking God wholeheartedly, and this is what He has led me to. It’s funny how controversial this is, especially since it’s a personal wardrobe choice. I’ll get the common questions out of the way now by saying
NO, I’m not oppressed, YES, I believe in equality for men and women,
NO, my husband isn’t making me do this, YES, he is supportive of my choice.
If you have more questions, I would love to discuss it!

Hello

~ Seleste Sault ~ Leave a comment

Welcome to my blog, I guess 🙂

On the off chance you don’t know me, my name is Seleste. I’m a worship leader at Mosaic Community Church in Englewood, CO. I’m also a mom of 4+ children, and wife to my BFF, Jeremy. I am a musician and a major geek, I’m passionate about Jesus, Star Wars, fantasy books, and all things mothering.

I didn’t really “decide” to start a blog. I’m a woman of strong convictions, and too often my husband has listened to my rants and told me, “Blog about it!” And I’ve laughed. But he’s right! I have good things to say, and I communicate best in writing.

You’ll probably find a variety of topics here, ranging from foster care to gardening but it will always come back to making the Gospel of Jesus Christ a part of everyday living.